How it all started
I’ve been choosing a word of the year for over a decade. Admittedly, when I first began doing it, it was purely for fun and because everyone else was doing it too. I would write the word in my journal, maybe add some stickers, then completely forget about it by the end of January. FOMO is a real thing.
It wasn’t until December 2018 that I started being more intentional about this annual practice. I was a newly divorced and single mom of three trying to figure out my life. When thinking about my word for 2019, I settled on the phrase, Life Unconstrained. I was finally free of a toxic relationship that had constrained me and in what felt like bondage at the time. I even went as far as creating a blog to document my journey (this was my first ever attempt at blogging… it didn’t go well). I was determined to live my life unconstrained… in other words, free. And so, I did. Navigating the world felt very uncomfortable at first, but eventually, the dust settled and 2019 ended up being a good year.
For 2020, I chose two words: Self-love and Discipline. Now that I was used to my new way life, it was time to build myself back up. To love and wholly accept myself as I was. I can’t remember why I chose discipline, but it definitely played a part. Mainly because I lost my corporate job and started my business in May 2020 as a result of what was happening in the world. None of us could have predicted the horrors of 2020. It’s interesting to me how I blindly chose these words, thinking they were what I needed while not knowing what was to come. And in the end, I did need them. Losing my job shook me. So much of my identity was attached to it. It took a lot of self-love to acknowledge that I was a whole person… much more than what I did for a living and that it was okay to want something different. Something more. Something that was mine. Creating and running a business requires discipline. But not the rigid discipline I originally thought.
My word for 2021 was Transform, and I also chose a supporting word, which was Brave. I’ve always been attuned to the atmosphere around me whether I was fully aware of it or not. By the end of 2020, I felt a strong shift coming. I didn’t know what kind of shift, how long it would last or what effect the shift would have. All I knew was that I would be a different person when it was over. So, I chose “transform.” Change is never easy and often requires courage. This is where the support word came in.
By the end of 2021, it didn’t feel as if the transformation was complete. Therefore, I kept “transform” as my word for 2022. I didn’t intentionally choose a support word, but as I continue my reflections, I would say the perfect support word would be “surrender” because that’s what this year has felt like.
Forget about being brave during this transition and just surrender. — My inner child
I didn’t even bother making a new vision board, which is something I tend to do and hang on my wall as a piece of art. This entire year, I felt like the goo a caterpillar becomes while inside the chrysalis. Earlier today, I flipped through my journals for this year, and it was interesting how many times I saw the Death card or the Tower or the Ten of Swords in some of my journal entries.
On the cusp of emerging
Here we are at the end of 2022, in this liminal space between Christmas and New Year’s. A time of stillness and reflection. I’ve been very still this week. Staying in bed longer, refusing to take part in after-Christmas sales, staying off social media, drinking lots of tea and filling out my end-of-year workbooks. My body has been calling for rest but my mind, however, has been very active. I’m in full reflection, introspection and divination mode.
Something I’ve been pondering on is whether my transformation that began in 2021 is finally complete.
If you recall from my November reflections post, I shared that after digging into my numerology, I learned that my purpose in this world is to create and maintain balance and harmony among others. Participating in that challenge shifted something within me. And after sharing that post with you, my word for 2023 began showing up everywhere. In the stuff I was reading (books/articles), in the videos and shows I was watching and even the podcasts I was listening to.
My word for 2023: Harmony
This is the first time since doing this annual practice that a word has chosen me, and not the other way around. I hadn’t even started thinking about what I wanted my word to be yet. I was focused on finishing and sharing my Wholesome Writing Review. And boom, there it was, calling to me. I would come across it multiple times a day. When I shared this word with someone, they suggested I choose both words since they are part of my purpose. I mulled this over as they do go together but decided against it. “Harmony” was the word I kept seeing and hearing, not “balance.” I want to honor that.
If you’re a lover of words and language like me, once you’ve chosen your word (or once it’s chosen you), I invite you to dig into the etymology of the word. Write down everything you associate with that word. Write your own associations first, then look up the definition and see how it’s used in sentences.
I did a mind map and came up with the following:
Inner calm
Tranquility
Balance
Peace
Things flowing together nicely
Music
Symphony
Pleasing sound
Melody
The most interesting definition I came across was, “an interweaving of different accounts into a single narrative.” For me, there was something about the word “interweaving” within the definition that felt magical. Purposeful.
I have interpreted this to mean that to create and maintain harmony among others, I must first create and maintain harmony within myself.
What does this mean for 2023?
Many things. Shadow work being among them. But the most important thing is operating according to my human design as a generator and listening to my sacral response. Going forward, it will either be a “Hell yes! That feels exciting and delicious.” Or a “Hell no! I’d rather stick a hot poker in my eye.” Dramatic? Yes, but you get the point. From here on out, I’m only saying “yes” to what lights me up.
My understanding of human design is at the beginning stages, but I’ve learned that when I ignore my gut response, frustration comes almost every time. Honoring this part of me is the first step to creating and maintaining harmony within myself.
I think my two-year transformation is complete, as I no longer feel like goo. I feel like a butterfly that is on the cusp of emerging. Will I be popping out on January 1, ready to do all the things? No. I will be quietly easing into 2023 to reacclimate myself with the world. I can’t deny that I have a few things cooking in my cauldron. But they, like me, need a little more time.
What’s your word or theme for 2023? I would love to hear about it!
PS: My workbook contains a word of the year exercise if you would like some guidance in choosing your own word for 2023.
Have a beautiful New Year’s and I’ll see you in 2023!
I love your word! As an Enneagram 9 harmony has always played a big role in my life, and I love knowing that creating and maintaining balance and harmony is your life purpose. What a wonderful purpose to have! My word this year is FEEL and now I am going to do your suggested exercise and examine it a bit more, thanks for that prompt. Wishing you lots of harmony, and joy and success for 2023, Lakeisha! xo
Love Harmony - finding a word for 2023 felt hard to do. I've had one each year for a few years but last years word ended up feeling like it had done me dirty by the end of 2022. After completing Susannah's word exercise and then going back to it again a few days later I'm going with 'courage'. Courage in so many different veins. Thanks for sharing your word.